Shemotions Hemotions Theirmotions
by LondynBridges
Summary: Angst. Smut. You know— going through the motions. Enjoy!
1. Shemotions Hemotions Theirmotions

**Super angsty. Definitely out of character. But I think it's good!**

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The glass shattered as it hit the hard wood floor. Its contents splashed onto his bare feet. Something about the moment was funny— he laughed. The light flicked on in the kitchen where he stood. Gun pointed at his chest until she registered it was him. He shrugged and gave her a weary smile. She shook her head then turned and walked away. No words spoken— this was becoming their new normal.

When he got back in the bed, she turned her back to him. He reached his arm over to hold her. She pushed it away. They both sighed in frustration. He was mad she kept refusing intimacy. She was mad he was drunk— again. The tension between them was becoming even more thick. Both prolonging the inevitable in their silence. Both afraid that words would only make things worse.

Truthfully, they still loved each other but, lines had been crossed. Vows were broken. They weren't sure what that meant for them. Not after what happened. He made a mistake. She lost trust. It was an assignment, sure, but he didn't have to take it that far. The worst part was that she had to sit and watch him do it. They weren't the same after that. And, as it stood right now, they would never go back to being the same again.

She tried to stifle the sound of her sobs, but it was too hard. He reached over again to try and comfort her. His comfort wasn't what she wanted— she got up. And he just watched as she left their bed. Eventually, he heard the familiar sound of a vase hitting the wall. That's when he got up too. When he made it to the living room, she glared at him through her tears.

"I'm sorry Ziva", he finally spoke as he stepped towards her.

She stepped back, "I know you are Tony. You have said it a million times."

"And I'll say it a million more if it means you'll forgive me", he whispered.

She scoffed and stepped back again when he took another step forward.

"Baby, please, I'm sor..."

"Do _NOT_ say it again!"

He waved his hands in surrender, "Fine. Just come back to bed. Please."

"I will sleep out here", she spoke defiantly.

"Ziva, I don't want to sleep alone."

"Then go back to _her_ bed", she quipped. It stung— both of them.

"This again", he unintentionally chuckled. Of course it was _this_ again. It hadn't stopped being _this_ all week. And he couldn't really blame her for reacting the way that she did. He had changed the play at the last minute. His audible wasn't necessary to get the job done. But, at the time, it seemed like the right call to make to maintain his cover. Ultimately— it may have cost him everything. He sighed, "I only did my job."

"Your job? Tony, that was not _your job!_ I saw the way you looked at her. I saw the way you held her. I saw the way you made love— _to her!_ " The broken look in her eyes ripped his heart out all over again.

He needed another drink. To dull the pain. To wash away his guilt.

She knew what he was thinking and shook her head, "Go ahead. Go get your bottle. Drink some more! It is what you have been doing best!"

"Yeah well, I'd rather be doing _you_ but you won't let me touch you!"

"You think I want you touching me after your hands and your lips were all over her— after your _dick_ was in that bitch?!"

"I was doing my _fucking_ job Ziva! Now stop going on about this shit!"

"Fuck your job _and fuck you!_ "

She started to walk past him. He grabbed her arm. She tried to pull away. He slammed her against the wall. She gasped. He panted. They locked eyes— then locked lips.

"I'm sorry Zi", he whisper again as his lips went to the sweet spot on her neck. "Let me show you."

Her breath hitched in her throat as she mentally berated herself for finally giving in. She had been fighting hard to keep her distance. She still wanted to be mad and make him suffer— but his lips, they were her weakness.

He let out a groan when her nails dug into his back. She moaned as his lips met hers again in passionate fury. Eventually, they needed oxygen. He pulled back slightly. Long enough to pull her nighty over her head. She gasped again when he took her nipple into his mouth. His tongue flicked until it reached its peak, then he did the same to the other. She reached down and rubbed his already hardened member through the thin material of his boxers. The contact eliciting sounds of pleasure from both of them.

He moved back up to her lips. This time, she stopped him. He looked at her confused— she smirked. He watched as she slid down the wall and onto her knees. She pulled down his boxers, releasing his erection. He groaned as her lips wrapped around his head. She took him in completely, then slowly let him back out— and then repeated. His knees got weak when she released him from her mouth again and her tongue ran from the hilt to the tip. She knew exactly what he liked but, right now, he wanted to make this about her.

She let him pull her back up. She let him remove her remaining piece of clothing— that black lace thong. He inhaled her scent. He was intoxicated— again. The best kind of drunk he could be. Drunk off her essence. Her leg moved to his shoulder— better access. He ablidged her silent request as his lips kissed her sweet core. She moaned in heavenly bliss. He lick over folds then his tongue started an assault on her sensitive bud as his pointer and middle fingers slid inside her.

"Yessssss", she breathed out as her hips instinctively rocked to his rhythm.

His free hand gripped her thigh as he grazed his teeth over her throbbing nub.

She hissed as her head dropped down to look at him. His eyes were locked on her. Predatory— that was the only way to describe them. Her breath hitched once more as he added a third finger. "Oh. Fuck!"

He swirled his tongue over her while he pumped his fingers in and out— harder. Just how she loved it. Before long, her head titled back as the wave of release washed over her. He slowed down to let her ride it out.

They weren't done, though. Just as her breathing leveled, he moved her leg off his shoulder and stood. In one swift move, he lifted her up and her legs wrapped around his waist. He slid is painfully hard manhood into her. They both groaned as he began thrusting deep inside her. Calculated and intentional in his movements as he hit her spot every time— it drove her crazy. Yet, she wanted more.

"Harder. Right there", she panted as her hands tangled into his hair. He gave her what she wanted. "Yes! Fuck Tony! Yes!"

He lost control when she finally said his name and pinned her tightly against the wall. His strokes became more irratic. He was close— so was she.

"Cum with me Zi", he instructed before swallowing her moan as he kissed her. Their bodies convulsed at the same time. He exploded in her. She fell over the edge onto him. They both screamed in ecstasy.

Regretfully, they came down from their high after a few more moments. Reality hit as he lowered her so that her feet met the floor. She looked up at him. He still saw her pain— they still weren't okay.

"Zi, I'm..."

She placed her finger on his lips. "You said you wanted to show me. I have not seen anything yet."

"But that..."

" _That_ was mindless fucking. I need to feel loved. Show me you still _love_ me. Prove that I really am the _only_ woman you will ever desire. Make love to me Tony."

He only nodded as he swept her up in his arms and carried her to _their_ bed— to make love.

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 **Be gentle. It's my first time.**

 **xoxo - Londyn**


	2. Shemotions Hemotions Theirmotions 2

**Quick follow-up. Thinking about something new to write. Maybe a longer story? Something with TIVA and their kids. Maybe with Tali as a teenager or something? I don't know. For now, just enjoy this little angsty followup piece!**

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He had carefully carried her to their bed. She stared at him after he laid her down. He noticed the reservation still in her eyes and the pain that resided there as well. She knew he saw it. There was no reason to hide it. Truthfully, their actions in the living room meant nothing to her but a partial release of frustration. There was still the underlying issue of feeling unloved— caused by him.

He sighed, "Baby, I swear, I'm so sorry. I know I fucked up but..."

"Tony, please", she shook her head as her hands made circles over his chest. "I do not want to hear it anymore."

He nodded sadly and kissed her shoulder. "What can I do then Ziva?"

"I have already told you— make love to me", she whispered as she pulled his lips to hers.

The kiss was soft and tender. It reminded her of their wedding day. It reminded him of— something else. She moaned when he started kissing down her jawline to her collarbone then back up to her lips again. He ran his tongue across her bottom lip— she granted access. His tongue intertwined with hers as his hands roamed her body. He was kissing in desperation— something was off. She noticed it too and tried to slow him down. He broke away in frustration and attacked her neck— biting down roughly. She winched and pushed him off of her.

"What the hell?!"

She glared at him, " _That_ is what _I_ should be asking _you_. What are you doing?"

"I'm doing exactly what you told me to do!"

"I told you to make love to me Tony. Not try to fuck me again!"

He rolled his eyes, "I _was_ trying to make love to you."

"You _never_ bite me!"

He shrugged nonchalantly, "It's something new."

"Since when?"

"Since my..." He paused. She raised her brow expectantly waiting for him to finish— he never did. Just laid back on top of her and went back to his desperate kiss. He tried so badly to shake the thoughts in his mind. The memories of— someone else.

A silent tear rolled down her cheek. She knew what he was doing. She knew what he was going to say before his lips crashed back down onto hers. He was going to admit that biting was something he got from his assignment. After all, she saw it happen. Heard when the bitch made the request. Watched when her husband completely ablidged without hesitation. He was thinking about _her_ now. She could sense it— once again shattered.

Still, she let him do what he wanted. She knew he was trying to forget— so was she. So, she let him bite her again. This time she didn't move. He slid into her with his face buried in her neck. She was quiet. He groaned with a mix of satisfaction to being back inside her tight walls and a mix of disapproval that she hadn't moaned. Something wasn't right— she _always_ moaned. But not now. Now, she was quiet. Too quiet.

He lifted his head and stared down at her beneath him. Her face was turned away. Her eyes locked on the adjacent wall. He noticed how she bit her lip. He slowed his thrusting and whispered her name. She heard him— still — she didn't look. He pulled out then roughly pushed back in.

"Ugh", she grunted as her face snapped back towards his. Their eyes locked— he did it again. "Mmmm", she panted trying to stifle her moan. She didn't want him to know it partly felt good. Not when she knew he wasn't completely there in the moment. She had asked for love making. All he could produce was _more fucking._ She squeezed her eyes shut. His eyes didn't show the love she craved. Only the desperation to prove what they both wanted to be untrue— things changed.

Something snapped in her when he forced himself in again. She flipped them over and opened her eyes to stare down at him. He looked— lost. She lifted herself off of him and rolled off the bed. He sighed and scratched his head, "where are you going?"

"To take a shower", she stated plainly, although the irritation in her voice was noticeable.

"We aren't done", he huffed.

She stopped just as she got to the bathroom door then turned to face him, "Yes we are."

"Neither one of us came", he pointed out as he sat up and slid to sit at the edge of the bed.

She looked at him incredulously, "how are either one of us supposed to do that when you're barely up and forcing yourself to fuck me?"

He couldn't respond. His head dropped down to look at his semi erect penis. He shook his head then looked back up at her.

She rolled her eyes, "I asked you to make love to me. You do not seem to be able to do that without..." She couldn't finish the sentence. It was too— painful.

"Baby..."

" _Stop_ calling me that!" Her shout made him flinch. "Do you realize that you have only recently started calling me that— _after_ you got back from your assignment?" She was crying now. "You have _never_ called me that before this week! _NEVER!_ But I _definitely_ recall you constantly moaning 'baby' in that bitches ear!"

He got defensive, "That's _not_ true! I've called you baby before."

" _No,_ you have not! That is not an endearment we have _ever_ used! Suddenly you come home from LA and you change how you act around me?"

"Well can you blame me Ziva?! You've done everything to push me away since I got home! You're so caught up in punishing me for what happened on that case that you're totally unreceptive of everything I've tried to do to rectify it!"

"I have _every right_ to blame you! You _cheated on me_ ", she scoffed. "And you wonder why I am not receptive of you? You are _still_ mentally cheating on me and you think I do not see it? That I do not _feel_ it?! Be honest Tony, who were you just thinking about? Who were you trying to forget while you buried your dick in me?"

He stayed quiet. There was no way he could be honest. There was no way he could lie either— she would know. Hell, she already knew. Still, he couldn't outwardly confirm it. He refused to do that— for her sake. His eyes averted her intense stare.

She yelled again, "Look at me Tony and answer the fucking question!" He didn't meet her request as silence surrounded them. Eventually, she broke it, "You keep apologizing yet you are not even man enough to admit why you are so sorry."

"I only did my job", he spoke in a robotic whisper.

She chuckled in disbelief, "Your job ended a week ago. Now your job is to make love to your wife and you can only think about making love to— _Miranda._ "

His eyes finally focused on hers. "I...", he sighed and tried to find the right words. "I didn't mean to think about _her",_ he finally admitted. "It's just... the way you kissed me I..."

"Are you really about to blame me for why you thought about _another_ woman in _our bed_ while we were about to make love _?!_ You CANNOT be fucking serious Tony!"

"Ziva, I can't explain it okay?!" His tone matched hers as he began yelling too. "I know it's fucked up! I know that _I fucked up!_ There was just this familiar feeling when it happened. She reminded me so much of you. Shit, she looks just like you!"

"Are you _fucking_ kidding me?!" She threw up her hands and turned to finally entered the bathroom.

He followed behind her, "I know it sounds really bad but..."

"There _is no but_ Tony! I cannot believe that you even..." The scream that escaped her lips as she gripped the counter echoed through the entire house. Her chest heaved as she tried to control her breathing between sobs and keep herself from causing his naked body behind her extreme pain. She looked at him through the reflection of the mirror. Her jaw clenched as she spoke through gritted teeth, "I hate you."

His head tilted to the side as he swallowed the lump in his throat. Of all the things she could have said, this hurt the most. Part of him wished she would just turn around and use those ninja skills to break his arm or something, he could take that— but not this. Not hearing _those_ words. How could it get any worse now?

She tried to wipe away her tears, but there was no use. They just kept coming. He cautiously wrapped his arms around her. She wanted to push him away, but she had no fight left. Those words did something to her too— she was confused. Broken. She didn't know if they were completely true. Yes, she hated him for his decision during the assignment. She hated him for his lame ass excuse. She hated him for thinking about someone else just now in their bed. She hated him for not being able to fill a simple request to make love to her.

 _But,_ she still loved him too. They had fought too had to even be able to be together in the first place. She couldn't give up now— _right?_

"I don't want you to hate me", he breathed as he tentatively kissed the spot on her neck where he had bruised her with his rough biting. "I never meant to hurt you Zi. I swear. Let me fix this. _Please._ " He kissed the same spot again. She flinched, but she didn't stop him.

He moved his hands over her body, from where they held her hips, and went upward to cup her breasts. His thumbs lightly ran across her nipples sending an electric jolt through her. She sighed and let her head fall back on his shoulder. Her arm reached up and behind them so that her hand could hold his head in place as he gently sucked the pulse point on her neck. He purred at the way her fingers wove into his hair. She let out a small moan when one of his hands left her nipple and trailed down her body, stopping to rest on her belly.

He lifted his eyes to see her reflection in the mirror. Her eyes, glazed over with a painful need, met his as she spread her legs. His hand finished its descent and rubbed over her folds. She bit her lip again. He growled at the feel of her wetness. Slowly, he pushed through and started teasing her sensitive bud. Her hips bucked causing her back to arche and press into his complete erection.

"I gave you a chan... mmmm..." She started panting again as he managed to reposition both of them and slid himself deep inside her. He held himself there, feeling the way her walls contracted around his swollen member. She looked at his reflection again as she tried to control her breathing. "A chance", she finally got out.

"Then give me one more." He rolled his hips then started methodically thrusting in and out of her. Her eyes closed as she let him push her upper torso down to rest on the counter. He used onehand to grip her waist while the other found her throbbing clit. She started meeting him stroke for stroke as he hit her spot— just right.

"Yesss", she moaned in ecstasy, "right there! Right. There!"

Both of their breathing began to labor. They were close— so close. With another deep thrust, they both went over the cliff. She tried to hold herself up by gripping the counter, but he slid out and turned her to face him.

"I'm not finished yet sweet cheeks!"

She gasped as he lifted her and carried her back to their bed. When she looked in his eyes this time, as he laid her down, she saw it— the love. The genuine apology. The silent promise that he'd _never_ betray her again. He smiled when she kissed him with a new passion. She smiled when she felt him get instantly hard all over again.

They moaned and screamed and groaned and made love all night until the sun came up the next morning. Reestablishing the bonds of their marriage. Both letting go of past sins. Both reclaiming what was rightfully theirs. Both falling in love all over again because nothing was worth losing _this_ — their life together in each other's arms.

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 **I am totally spent! Seriously! Anyway, I hope you enjoyed this little two part story. I think I'll try my hand in something else now. Let me know your thoughts!**

 **xoxo - Londyn**


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